That I hate being brave, and having to be brave all the time.
It's exhausting.
Over the past 5 years I have gone through: the dissolution of my marriage, the realization that it was a very good thing for me even though it was heart-wrenching, moving myself and my two kids out of the home they'd spent most of their lives in, the divorce (settlement not in my favor, initially), watching my kids deal with an immature partner chosen by their dad which has negative ramifications to this day, finding my house had been abandoned by the tenant who was a hoarder (dog poop in bags under the sink), the loss of the house, losing people I had become close to through work after they were harassed for months, bankruptcy, being sworn at on a daily basis by students at work with no consequences for the students, and the death of a loved one from inoperable brain cancer.
I am, quite frankly, exhausted. And apparently without a thesaurus.
I was told by the professional job counselor at UT that the librarians she has interviewed who had the most satisfaction with their jobs were school librarians. I *could* have that. I can see it in the faces of the kids who come in regularly to borrow books, and who find new stories to enjoy. But the sad fact is that it's being crushed under increasing duties placed on librarians and other faculty and staff by reductions in staffing and what appears to be a lack of recognition of reality.
I am not without other obligations. I cannot spend my every waking moment dedicated to my job. I need to spend time with my kids. Time paying attention to THEM. (The irony of course being that I'm spending time next to my son, but staring at the computer screen writing, while he reads, so I guess it's not so bad.)
I go to work, and from the moment I get there I am on duty. I sometimes have mini-reference interviews with teachers and students as I make my way up to the library. There are three lunch periods at our school and I work through all of them, having students come in to check out materials, work on the computers, or have a library advisory group meeting.
Librarians are given the same work schedule as teachers and that includes a duty free lunch and scheduled planning time. I haven't received either in two years. So I work through lunch/es, and then the library is expected to be kept open after school for student access. Technically my work hours are 7:45 - 3:45, the same as the teachers, but part of having a good school library is access outside of school hours. Without a clerk or assistant, or after-school childcare, that becomes very difficult on a personal level.
I am a single-parent. Next year, both of my kids will be in Middle School simultaneously. They have to be my priority, and society needs to recognize that.
So, here I am, being brave again. The US needs to recognize that parental time is an investment in its societal future.
It's exhausting.
Over the past 5 years I have gone through: the dissolution of my marriage, the realization that it was a very good thing for me even though it was heart-wrenching, moving myself and my two kids out of the home they'd spent most of their lives in, the divorce (settlement not in my favor, initially), watching my kids deal with an immature partner chosen by their dad which has negative ramifications to this day, finding my house had been abandoned by the tenant who was a hoarder (dog poop in bags under the sink), the loss of the house, losing people I had become close to through work after they were harassed for months, bankruptcy, being sworn at on a daily basis by students at work with no consequences for the students, and the death of a loved one from inoperable brain cancer.
I am, quite frankly, exhausted. And apparently without a thesaurus.
I was told by the professional job counselor at UT that the librarians she has interviewed who had the most satisfaction with their jobs were school librarians. I *could* have that. I can see it in the faces of the kids who come in regularly to borrow books, and who find new stories to enjoy. But the sad fact is that it's being crushed under increasing duties placed on librarians and other faculty and staff by reductions in staffing and what appears to be a lack of recognition of reality.
I am not without other obligations. I cannot spend my every waking moment dedicated to my job. I need to spend time with my kids. Time paying attention to THEM. (The irony of course being that I'm spending time next to my son, but staring at the computer screen writing, while he reads, so I guess it's not so bad.)
I go to work, and from the moment I get there I am on duty. I sometimes have mini-reference interviews with teachers and students as I make my way up to the library. There are three lunch periods at our school and I work through all of them, having students come in to check out materials, work on the computers, or have a library advisory group meeting.
Librarians are given the same work schedule as teachers and that includes a duty free lunch and scheduled planning time. I haven't received either in two years. So I work through lunch/es, and then the library is expected to be kept open after school for student access. Technically my work hours are 7:45 - 3:45, the same as the teachers, but part of having a good school library is access outside of school hours. Without a clerk or assistant, or after-school childcare, that becomes very difficult on a personal level.
I am a single-parent. Next year, both of my kids will be in Middle School simultaneously. They have to be my priority, and society needs to recognize that.
So, here I am, being brave again. The US needs to recognize that parental time is an investment in its societal future.
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